Expectations in a Community

I was pondering on something this morning as I reflected on past and current experiences with people who make a living doing what they love - specifically in the "alternative" medicine field. Because people who have interest in holistic living; i.e. yoga, veg*nism, meditation tend to see each other often, we have a bit of a community. You run into the same people at the health food store, at classes, lectures, etc. You tend to form relationships with one another, so when you become a patron of their business, things can become complicated. Say you are a regular customer at a store in the community. You have been a customer for years, and you try to buy items from there rather than anywhere else so you can support them. However, because you've been there for so long, they tend to take you for granted. They may start catering to newer customers and even forget you are there. You may even be expected to service yourself. You get tired of it. Besides that, you've been waiting for months to get a product you need. You eventually decide to buy it elsewhere. Someone from the store sees you with it, asked you where you got, and gets an attitude because you didn't buy it from them. That person took your action personally.

I used the store as an example, but I have seen it a lot in health care practitioners who expect patients to see them on a regular basis - sometimes weekly when the patient will have to pay a lot of money out of pocket each time, plus take time off of work to do so. That wouldn't be as bad if the treatment were working. However, I have seen a doctor become upset because the patient couldn't afford to keep coming back when the treatment wasn't working. It was taken as a personal slight.

I have experienced this many times. I have supported people who were so concerned with their own livelihood that they don't consider that you may not be able to afford their services or that you have time constraints. You may be expected to hang around for a long time while you wait for service - whether it is a class, an appointment, or something else while you are concerned about getting to work or getting home.

What I've learned is that no matter what standing a person has in a community, s/he is still human. Human beings get self-absorbed, take others for granted, and expect more from others because of what they feel they contribute. They gossip, say inappropriate things, and make false assumptions. They may be older but not necessarily wiser. They may be smart, but not always make intelligent choices. Sometimes we can not always give people the kind of support they want, and they may develop ill feelings towards us. No one owes us anything, and no one should make us feel obligated to do anything for them especially if we are not treated well.