Attachment

A friend of mine once asked me about avoiding attachment - specifically, attachment to a person. I don't remember exactly how I answered, but I now realize that there is a relationship between attachment and fear. I'm speaking of an unhealthy attachment. I think that an unhealthy attachment to a person is based on the fear of losing them. Of course, it can go deeper than that, and I could go into metaphysics, but I think we cling to what we are afraid to lose. We don't own other people - not our children, not our lovers, not our parents. If we truly love others, then we do not restrict them. True love is unconditional. It remains through arguments, betrayal, and misunderstandings. It lasts even if your love is not reciprocated. Love does not discriminate. It is also not the same as attachment. You can also avoid attachment by being independent. It is difficult not to be attached to someone you greatly depend upon. Sometimes the attachment is more about the feeling you get being around a person more than to the person. You don't want to stop feeling a particular way so you cling to the person. If you remember that nothing is permanent or guaranteed, and that everything changes, you'll know that a relationship can always change. However, if you fear losing it, you can bring your fears to life.